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Caring for the Caregiver
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As Canada’s population ages, the need for reliable and compassionate care is growing. More family members and friends are taking on the caregiver's role. Health professionals know that caregivers form an invisible backbone in the health care system.

Being a caregiver can be a rich and meaningful experience. However, it requires hard work, patience and support. Remember how flight attendants advise you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others? If you are a caregiver, you must look after yourself. This is especially true if you are tending someone who is critically ill.

Caregivers lend support to seniors and those living with chronic diseases, including dementia. Many seniors are fairly independent, but need help to keep living on their own. Some require major support that is equal in hours to holding down a full-time job. Others require care all the time.

If you are a caregiver, you probably know this work carries a physical, emotional and financial cost. Family caregivers are often overburdened and in need of help themselves. Half report feeling tired and anxious. Twenty per cent require financial aid. Family conflicts, feelings of isolation and distress, and loss of income are all common.

At highest risk are those caregivers who give more than 21 hours of help each week, or look after someone with depression, mental decline, behaviour changes, or a terminal condition. Caring for someone with dementia can be extremely challenging. Psychological disorders and depression in caregivers are common.

Caring for yourself

First, recognize that this is challenging work. Take steps to actively protect your own health and well-being. You cannot continue to help others if you are drained. Remember the following common sense guidelines.

• Take a break. Do not feel guilty about taking time for yourself. It is a necessary part of coping with the pressures of caregiving. Carve out time to do things that comfort and relax you. Schedule activities you enjoy, such as reading, gardening, hiking, playing games, or going out to a sports event or movie. Make dates with friends and family members. A good support network is invaluable, as it allows you to lean on others when you are struggling. Connect with community groups or others in the same situation. Find healthy ways to nourish your spirit, such as journaling, meditation or prayer. (If finding time to do these things is challenging, see the 'Support from the system' section below)

Ask for help. If family or friends offer to relieve you, take them up on it. Others can help with regular household tasks like laundry or cooking. Be realistic about how much you can manage on your own. If you feel frustrated, resentful, or overwhelmed, talk with someone you trust or join a support group.

• Make time to eat. Keep easy, healthy snacks like fruit, cut veggies or cheese and crackers on hand for busy days. When you do have time to cook meals, make extra to freeze.
• Exercise. Physical activity boosts your health and offers a way to blow off steam. It can be as simple as going for a walk, or taking time to enjoy your favourite workout.
• Get enough sleep. If you are caring for someone around the clock, early bedtimes and naps may be necessary. Think about how to work extra sleep into your schedule.
• Check up on your own health. The next time you schedule a dental or medical appointment for your loved one, remember to book one for yourself too.

Support from the system

The first step in getting outside help is to identify yourself as the primary support person. This allows professionals in the health care system to help you access resources. It may be a huge relief to discover alternative supports that can help you to take a much-needed break.

• Home care – This in-home, professional support can include nursing, rehabilitation, and other personal services like grooming, bathing, and help taking medication. Home care staff may be able to suggest equipment to make caregiving tasks easier. The service is publicly funded.
• Day programs – These are care programs that run during the day, freeing you to tend to other tasks.
• Respite – This service is arranged through home care. Somebody comes into the home for three to four hours each week, allowing you to do other things. A variation involves admitting the person you look after to a care facility for a short period of time, normally up to about a week.
  

About burnout

It is challenging to be a caregiver, and feeling overwhelmed at times is normal. However, certain signs suggest that you are near the end of your rope.

• At times, you have the urge to run away.
• Your sleeping or eating habits change. For instance, you find you cannot sleep for more than a few hours at a time, or you are eating much more or less than normal.
• You lose control of your emotions. You may be suddenly overwhelmed by strong feelings, such as anger or frustration.
• You cannot focus on simple tasks, and find it difficult to get anything done.
• You are drinking alcohol, smoking, or relying on other unhealthy habits to feel better.
• If these symptoms seem familiar, take steps immediately to get help.

Your caregiving makes a huge difference, especially to the person you support, and to the health care system. Caregiving is a demanding and valuable role. Every situation is different, so explore the various options and solution available to you. Most important, do not be afraid to ask for help. For more information, speak with your family doctor.

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FAMILY HEALTH is written with the assistance of

While effort is made to reflect accepted medical knowledge and practice, articles in Family Health Online should not be relied upon for the treatment or management of any specified medical problem or concern and Family Health accepts no liability for reliance on the articles. For proper diagnosis and care, you should always consult your family physician promptly. © Copyright 2019, Family Health Magazine, a special publication of the Edmonton Journal, a division of Postmedia Network Inc., 10006 - 101 Street, Edmonton, AB T5J 0S1    [GO_FHab17]